《小偷亚精》大光灯是富家阔少爷由法国返回香港继承遗产怎料继父将全部遗产赠送慈善机构遗下给他的只是四字真言:自力更生一夜之间阔少爷落难无家可归暂寄居前管家炎叔家中与此同时大光灯开始寻回已各奔前程的昔日乐队——人行支票乐队的队友是非精、柠檬头、猫粪猫粪是颇负名气的舞男是非精贪图金钱好逸恶劳甘愿继续其舞男生涯而柠檬头经不断碰壁放弃对表妹的盲目追求与小凤同赴外国深造生意则转让给大光灯经营经为了独吞抢劫银行的钱财在情妇帮助下越狱成功杀死了当年的合伙人阿呆警官阿奇(吴奇隆)找到监狱中的女友(翁虹)说服她与自己配合抓住神经小虹为了儿子(郝绍文)答应了阿呆的请求美女顽童警察组成了搞笑三人组能否逢凶化吉完成任务呢.While policeman Shen Mengxing escorted the prisoner Liu Daniu to the provincial jail, they were kidnapped by the female robbers, Yu Niang and Xue Die, from Longmen Mountain in Longmen County. The two were captured to the mountain and became members of the cottage. The new cottage was renamed \"Longmen Cottage\". Yu Niang is the master, Shen Mengxing is the second master, and Liu Daniu is the third master. Then Yu Niang arranged Shen Mengxing and Daniu to go out and invite Lu Linxiao, a teacher at Longmen College, to come to the cottage as a consultant. Everyone worked together in order to make the business much better, but they wrongly used all kinds of bad methods, which led to many misunderstandings and a series of hilarious embarrassments. Once Lu Linxiao asked Daniu to help bring a letter to his father, and Daniu rescued a fisherman's daughter, Wan Er, on the way to Lu's residence. After listening to Wan Er's experiences, everyone in the cottage was filled with anger and motivation and determined to help Wan Er fight against the evil county forces headed by County Magistrate Mu.良炳(梁汉文 饰)是一名寂寞的茶餐厅侍应他最大的爱好是听闻古惑仔白花油等人的江湖故事骁勇善战的福生帮大佬郎青(张耀扬 饰)经白花油反复渲染令良炳神往不已随着良炳与古惑仔们交往渐密不知觉也融入了他们的行列并终于投入郎青门下郎青的气度与手腕令良炳心仪不已一日郎青等人在电影院与影星兼黑社会大佬雷龙(黄秋生 饰)一伙发生争执自此两帮人马结下仇怨雷龙因福生帮散布自己的谣言捉来良炳侮辱泄愤不堪屈辱的良炳避开郎青与兄弟掘了雷龙父亲之坟双方一时剑拔弩张事情开始往失控的方向发展郎青被卷入其中不幸身死而欲为郎青报仇的良炳却遭遇了怪诞的结局……香港匪首邝天龙告诉侄子邝小云大陆的警察阚大庸是杀死他父亲的仇人命他前去刺杀邝小川给特警队国际射手姐姐好婴打电话将此事告知了她却不知自己正是阚多年前失散的儿子好男好婴决定背着父亲去找弟弟不想两人擦肩而过好婴经受不了刺激昏倒了邝小云向当年绑架自己到香港的走私犯白旋风查问身世我公安干警却赶到了疯狂的邝要挟要炸了工厂阚大庸挺身而出向他讲述了邝天龙为报杀兄之仇将他绑架到香港如今又...大型影视基地胸怀明星梦的女子如梦(鄂靖文 饰)已经在影视圈摸爬滚打了十多年却依旧还是籍籍无名的龙套演员平日里在片场饱受剧组和其他演员的欺凌嘲笑回到家则被恨铁不成钢的老爹指责甚至扬言断绝父女关系然而如梦一律微笑面对天大的委屈也藏在心中死皮赖脸地抓住每一个希望渺茫的机会在此期间她结识了热衷于跑龙套的李洋早已过气却自视甚高的童星马可(王宝强 饰)更彻彻底底看清了自己以及爱情的真相她是过于平凡的小人物是一个不该有梦的女孩是一个直到宇宙灭亡也永远不会得到演戏机会的可悲龙套……...